from others…

March 23 2012
I have learned a lot of things in AA that have helped me. 1. be honest 2. share my thoughts and fears 3. keep in contact with my sponsor 4. go to meetings..some times lots of meetings.

So here I am needing to share what I am feeling and my fears, I was told last Oct. that I had over 10 kidney stones, which I guess I have not yet passed. Last week the pain was so bad I couldn’t stand it any more. My doctor ordered a CT scan to see what’s going on.
Well I still have the 10 stones plus more and 1 of them is 7mm in size. So my head says “oh no that means surgery” I have a horrible fear of hospital stays (I’m a smoker) and hate pain. Yesterday I saw a Urologist and he tells me it’s OK they will pass on there own, in the mean time just take these pain meds (Vicodan) until I pass the them.

Being addicted to pain medication 14 yrs ago is what brought me to my knees… so I called my sponsor and we talked about it (fears/concerns) before I took a pill. Thank God I am not enjoying this high. After my prayers and talking with my sponsor I called the doctor’s office and asked for a 2nd opinion and to discuss a procedure to break them up. I know today that I am sober/free and I can make choices…and I choose not to be in pain and or take pain medication because it is dangerous for me.
Thanks, Karen

March 13 2012
Happy ANY Day! Oh that was a good excuse to get drunk. Whitney Houston died, her music inspired me. May she rest in peace. That was a great reason to get drunk. My boss didn’t appreciate something I busted my ass on today. Now there’s just cause to get good and drunk.

Every single day of my professional drinking career, I found an excuse to get drunk. If there was nothing, I made something……so I could get drunk. Notice how I am not saying “to drink”. I never drank just to drink. I drank to get drunk, fall down and go to sleep……so I could wake up and literally start again. Unless my not-drunk-anymore body woke up at 3am or 4am or whatever time with that pain in my stomach that wouldn’t go away without being drunk.

My entire life was about being drunk. How to get there. How to stay there. How to kid myself that my lies were working. What an existence only another alcoholic could appreciate, look back at and be amused and bewildered at the absurdity of it all…..

Today, I am grateful every single second of my sober life. I love being sober. I love knowing that I tell the truth and don’t have to remember what it was I said. I read something that stays with me when I want to argue any point about anything….”The Truth Needs No Defence”. period, end of story.
My Higher Power – God has given me a love for myself I could never imagine. He has given me back self-respect the bottom of every bottle took. Strength I searched for is handed to me daily. Appreciation for others and the ability to help those who are not as fortunate as I. To be an example of what a good parent truly is to my family.

I have so much, I pray for my fellows almost every night, that each one of you will just open your hands and let God give to you what he has given me. In you, I can see myself. In you I can learn why. In you, I know without a doubt I am not alone and yes, there are many who understand.
.
Thank you to all of you, everyday. LK ( California )

February 2 2012
Why we need those meetings?
Staying active.

Friends and relatives are often grateful when they witness an alcoholic’s dramatic recovery after years of horror and pain. However, they sometimes fail to understand the importance of meetings after the alcoholic has been sober for months or years.

“Do you have to go to another meeting this week?” a spouse might say, “You’re sober now. Why do you need THOSE people?”

Some AA members probably do use the meetings simply as a social outlet and attend more than they need. But no other person can really determine what you or I need to maintain sobriety.

Moreover, even in sobriety, we are always dealing with alcohol, which can come back into our lives with stunning force if we ever become careless or foolish. It is much better to go to more meetings than we need, than to attend too few or none at all.

There is another side as well. The meetings need us. By attending meetings, we are carrying the AA message and providing a haven for desperate newcomers who need our help.

However, we should be tolerant and understanding when others are critical of our zealous attendance of meetings. It is not necessary that they understand our need. It is only necessary that we understand!
I will remember today that the price of sobriety is eternal vigilance. I don’t want to change anything—- including meeting attendance– — which is necessary for my continued sobriety.

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January 26 2012
So recently, I found myself working on an artistic project with other drunks, for my local AA convention happening in about a week.

I found myself feeling and wanting to act less than spiritual. A couple of funky moments happened when others were feeling the same way apparently. (You know, not everyone can have their own way all the time.)

Then I did what you folks taught me to do: talked about it, prayed about it, and did my best to put my own ego aside, regardless of others behaviour and despite what my head says. (Powerlessness, at times, can still be a challenge.)

As a result, an issue resolved quite nicely, and I will be asserting myself to set a boundary with someone tonight, rather than argue, insult, or threaten. Now that’s some healthy shit! Thanks for giving me a life I can be proud of, without lingering resentment and the ability to allow others to be where and who they are.

Thank you for my sobriety… Sandy

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January 25 2012
I haven’t been to a meeting in three days and I feel great. I haven’t seen a human being in person in three days and I feel great.
There isn’t any booze in the house, so I can’t say that I’ve “heard voices” of the stuff talking to me.
I do know that at some point, some time soon, one of my thoughts from my alcoholic brain will be “hey buddy, it’s been a while. You can have a beer or two today.” When that voice shows up (not “IF” it shows; it is guaranteed to be “when…”) if I’ve been to a meeting that day, I’ll likely laugh at it.

If I haven’t been to a meeting, the conversation might last a little longer. Then the only thing between me and the drink will be my HP and my willingness to remember the truth about who I am.

So.. maybe I’ll just head out to a meeting this afternoon. Y’know, just in case…
Tom
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The Pink Lady

I arrived at a meeting very early and put my keys to everything on a seat near the front and on the isle. I got a cup of coffee and proceded to have conversations with a few people then made my way to my saved seat when it was about meeting time.
A large lady with a two sizes too small shinny pink dress was sitting in my chair. I told her I put my keys on the chair to save it. She said, “Oh, I didn’t see any keys here and THIS is where I always sit.” I knew what happened. She threw away my keys to everything so she could have her regular seat. I had a resentment for her for a long time and in many ways.
The Pink Lady as she called herself as she only had the one dress,. only spoke of taking a few diet pills in her talks, never hard core alcoholic drinking. I know what you’re thinking, I shouldn’t judge somebody’s story but… there are people in AA who are just not alcoholics.

If you wandered into an AA meeting and people rushed up to you and offered you coffee, greasy donuts, big smiles and you had no history of drinking then you might go with the flow too, who knows.
JT

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Hi again. I really need to share how living life on life’s terms is just not fair most of the time and how the knowledge that I have the choice to drink or not drink today is mine.
I am a member of the VFW Ladies Auxiliary, and belong to a Post that has a bar. I’ve been blessed with the ability to go out for an evening, anywhere for supper, or just out dancing, or getting together with friends and not even for the most part wish I could have a drink.

That wasn’t the case a little over a week ago. Our Post and Auxiliary had planned way before Christmas to do an appreciation supper for our local National Guard Unit for a week ago last Saturday evening. On my way in to the Post….we live 26 miles north, but that’s where we go to town for everything we need to do…I saw a poster saying a lady I knew from meeting her last year was missing. She is a very special lady in our community and well beloved.

When I got to the Post, my cell phone rang, and it was my contact with the Nat’l Guard Unit saying me may have to cancel the supper because they were all out searching for this lady. I told him, the food was coming any way and they were going to have to eat at some point.

Of course people were in the bar part of the Post drinking and the conversation was about our missing teacher and friend. It hit me really hard, because a neighboring town has changed soooooo much no one especially the women won’t want to and don’t go there alone, unless they absolutely have to. Our town is changing too. Outside people finding work here they can’t elsewhere…and some not all…of them are in the “I could care less about the locals and the laws of small town USA.”

It was really hard….Temptation almost won out…but I just avoided the bar….got me a diet Pepsi and kept busy in the dining hall setting tables and decorating. Of course the Community didn’t turn out as they would have under the circumstances, but we’d ordered food to feed 75, and we ended up feeding over 100 combination Nat’l Guard and other volunteers who’d been out searching…volunteer fire fighters, sheriffs deputies and others.

We fed everyone of them that came in for a hot meal b4 they went back out.
It was a good feeling and thru it all even still today…I’m sober. An emotional wreck because our small town world has been turned upside down and will maybe never be the same, but that’s life. It happens across the U.S., but you never think it’ll happen in your back yard.

We all hung on to each other, our Faith, and became a little more aware. No….we don’t blame the whole bunch of people who are able to come here and make a living for themselves and their families….just the ones who are out with ulterior motives wolves in sheep’s clothing to say it best I guess.
This program got me thru another rough spot, and I am just sooooooo soooooooo grateful for that.

Take care and hug your loved one. Don’t take them for granted for one minute…they may not be there when you least expect it.

Huge Hugs
(Soberly submitted by Jacki of Lambert, MT)
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My name is Jay, and I am a recovered alcoholic.

I was about a year or so sober, and I remember hearing someone saying things would be ok. And it has been. However, after hearing that and not hearing it again, I got angry. I said in a meeting one time, that if God wants something, he is going to have to tell me — I have stuff to do.

So I went on with life, staying sober, trying to raise my kids, and be a good husband. Eight or nine years later, it happened. I didn’t expect it, so I waited like eight or nine years — talk about patient!
You never know when you will get moved in all sorts of ways, but you need to be ready for when the time comes, and it will usually happen when you are alone. It opened up a door for me I never knew could be imagined. It makes the impossible possible.
I’m glad you guys are here today, thanks for letting me share. Jay

Patience

My name is Jay, and I am a recovered alcoholic. I was about a year or so sober, and I remember hearing someone saying things would be ok. And it has been.

However, after hearing that and not hearing it again, I got angry. I said in a meeting one time, that if God wants something, he is going to have to tell me — I have stuff to do. So I went on with life, staying sober, trying to raise my kids, and be a good husband. Eight or nine years later, it happened. I didn’t expect it, so I waited like eight or nine years — talk about patient! You never know when you will get moved in all sorts of ways, but you need to be ready for when the time comes, and it will usually happen when you are alone. It opened up a door for me I never knew could be imagined. It makes the impossible possible.

I’m glad you guys are here today, thanks for letting me share.

New Year resolutions

Today I was thinking, I don’t need to make a New Year’s resolution. If I need to change something, I find a solemn oath to myself is broken pretty quickly. The harder I try to do something the least likely I am to succeed. I can’t win using will power alone. I need to trust in something higher than myself to help me get things done. Take it easy, let go and let God, are not just words for this recovering alcoholic.

I have warning signs when my spiritual health is lacking. I crave the quick fix, I call it trading for another addiction. I do that to fill that empty feeling inside that I get when I don’t trust my Higher Power and don’t work a program.

(Soberly submitted by Sara B from Iowa)

Sponsorship

I had my first sponsor for 25 years, until she passed away. It’s difficult replacing her. I bounce ideas off people I know and who may have more sobriety than myself. I do not believe that a sponsor is a surrogate parent or a life advisor. I don’t need someone else to make every decision for me, but I do seek input from others when I have a major issue to deal with. Mostly though, it’s Thy Will be Done not mine, and wait to see what God gives me.

With sponsees, I take them through the Steps, I don’t attempt to direct their lives. The ability to live sober should happen when they arrive at the spiritual awakening as THE RESULT of the Steps, as Step 12 describes. If there is no arrival, then in my opinion they haven’t successfully worked all 12 Steps.

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