Hi.. new posts here.

Hi all, I am Chris, and I am an alcoholic.

The 12 steps and a hard work saved my Life

Step One concerns me, life and alcohol.
Steps Two and Three concern me and my God;
Step Four is about me and my God, and
Five is about my relationship with God, me, and others.
Steps Six and Seven are with God,
Eight and Nine are with my fellow humans, and
Ten is just a wrap-up of Four through Nine.
Step Eleven is about my relationship with God, and
Twelve is about my relationship with me…

God, and others. So for me, this program is all about relationships. And the two things that have changed greatly for me are these: I used to love things and use people, now I love people and use things; I used to wake up and say good God it’s morning again, now, I can wake up and say good morning God. I thank each and every one of you for that change in perception, attitude and outlook. And if no one has said it today — I love you all and thank you.
Chris

Personal responsibility.
Unless we’re unusual, we’ve probably accepted the widespread practice of blaming certain individuals and groups when trouble occurs. Most likely, we’ll also have people whom we blame for our own difficulties: unloving parents, careless teachers, unfair bosses, and others on an endless list.

However accurate it may be, such blame-placing does nothing constructive.
It really serves only to reinforce our bitterness and resentment, thus assuring that more of the same “injustices” will come to us.
The real truth is that we have no complete explanation for the world’s individual and social wrongs.

While certain individuals are admittedly guilty of wrongdoing, it often turns out that they’ve also been victims of cruelty or neglect. Our goal, as people committed to a spiritual way of life, is to rise above all blame placing while striving for improvement in our own treatment of others.

Though I may read and hear much to the contrary, I’ll resist the notion that certain people or groups must be held accountable for the world’s problems. I’ll focus my attention, this day, on improvement in my own life.

Serenity

It’s been pointed out that the real meaning of resentment is to “re-feel” an old injury. This means that we let ourselves feel again the pain we had when we were previously wronged.

Warning,contains bitterness and resentment

We’ve also been conditioned to believe that we’re being spineless and wimpy if we don’t become outraged by certain injustices and wrongs. There’s a difference, however, between feeling strongly that something is wrong and being sullen and resentful about it.

The first kind of feeling helps us remedy the problem; the second feeling simply intensifies our hurt. Under no circumstances can we afford resentment.
Affirmation:
I’ll make this day resentment-free, despite the currents of feeling and bitterness around me. “Re-feeling” old injuries is not the way to the happier life I seek.
R

….continuing with another opinion. Tom shares

I sat through one of “those” meetings today, judging and letting my inner gerbil complain and resent.
It wasn’t a lot of fun, and I left quickly without talking to anybody really.

Then I came home and stewed a while, and whaddaya know — every single phone call seemed to tick me off a little further, until I got to the point when a person I sponsor called, and I realized that God was doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself.

He was reminding me that “there is no THEM”.
Almost immediately I found myself re-centered and re-humbled (humiliated for a second, turned to real humility ).

I wonder what would have happened to my day if I’d just raised my hand in the meeting and said something simple like “I’m Tom, Alcoholic, and don’t really want to share, but I have resentments swirling around my head and I want to be free.

Thanks for letting me share.”
People probably would’ve been grateful that I kept it so short ! ( I have a tendency to yada yada yada and…

I can almost guarantee I’d have felt great.
I feel great right now even “saying” it here with you all. Thank you for “hearing” me. Peaceful eve to ya.
T

My name is Peter, and I’m an alcoholic.

It took me a long time to get honest about my alcoholism. When I was still “out there,” I knew that I had a problem with drinking. I tried to stop and failed every time, and I knew that there had to be some reason for it.

I thought that it had to do with my childhood, or my job, or the hand life had dealt me. I thought that if I could deal with those issues, then I could drink normally. Despite my best efforts, that didn’t work either. One day, something hit me — I can only attribute it to my HP — and I realized that I didn’t drink for any of those reasons: I drink because I’m an alcoholic.

The question then was, “Now what?” Fortunately, some of you guys had told me about these 12 Steps. I had looked them over, but I didn’t really like what I saw. The idea of a Higher Power wasn’t something I liked. And you all told me I was being pretty close-minded.

Boy! – was that an instant dose of humility! I thought I was the most open-minded person in the world, but there was no denying the fact that I was ruling out AA without even giving it a try. So I decided to get to work.

My willingness was born out of desperation. My life was in ruins, and I needed a change. So I got a sponsor and worked the Steps. Today, life is great. The desperation is lessened, which sometimes makes willingness hard to maintain. But when that happens, all I have to do is go to a meeting, and I’m taken back to my very first meeting where I was a close-minded jerk who thought he knew everything.

AA and the concepts of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness saved my life. And they continue to save my life each and every day. I am so grateful to be here tonight and I thank you for letting me share.

Sometimes my dual diagnosis rears its ugly little head.

Lately it has been doing so. I recognize it, the same way I recognize it when I’m not, for example, keeping up my spiritual program, attending enough meetings, or actively doing service work. I do not want to get complacent about my alcoholism. The Steps are designed to guard against that – by living in 10, 11, and 12, I keep myself close to my program.

Off topic, but the same goes for my mental health. When they read “How it Works,” they are describing me when they say,

“There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.”

I am grateful to my HP that I do have that capacity.Both diseases can kill me if I don’t do what’s required to stay recovered. There are similarities – I monitor myself for both, if I’m not feeling right I speak to someone right away, and I do what the experts tell me to do to maintain my recovery.

My recovery comes before anything else

There is no doubt that AA helps me in all areas of my life, including my mental health. If I don’t maintain my sobriety, my mental health will suffer – and not just because drinking nullifies many psych meds. If I don’t maintain my mental health, there’s no way I can stay sober. Sometimes they call this “Double Trouble” because we have to work on 2 diseases at once.

Some AA folk are a little judgmental about it (what?! Judgmental alcoholics?!), but you know what? I say a prayer for them, that they may never walk in my shoes. In the meantime, I try to learn something from my experience that will benefit others. Recovery from both is possible – if I can do it, so can you!
Mona

Maintaining Optimism.

As a great virtue, hope is ranked with faith and love. Those of us caught in the thicket of alcoholism had such an experience with hope that turned out to be merely cruel illusions.
In recovery however, hope has a sound purpose.
It is really a form of optimism, an underlying belief that things will work out in spite of the obstacles and problems we face. This helps provide the strength and energy we need to succeed in the face of opposition and setbacks.

I like whimsical and bright .. this image has both.

Hope is the optimism that keeps us moving toward our highest good. Let’s keep it alive.
Affirmation:
I’ll face my day with the underlying belief that things will work out in the long run. I’ll refuse to be overwhelmed by temporary setbacks.

R

Being another beautiful spring day has reminded me that I get to slow down and not rush through my day, to stop and take time to smell the roses.

So many times I just get so busy that I do not enjoy what I am doing. It is then that I get to remind myself that hurry and busyness are forms of self-will, mislead by the blown up sense of my own importance.
I think it is necessary to complete all the tasks I have for the day according to my personal schedule instead of getting things done in my HP’s time. I can get impatient with traffic, other’s slowness that makes me tense and miserable.

Then I get to pause and remember to accept life as it comes and not on my terms…I get to release, relax and let go into the fullness and peace of each moment trusting my HP is in charge.
.
(Soberly submitted Marlene S. San Francisco, CA)

A rose by another other name...

Freedom from Bondage

I traded my shackles, for this great journey into AA…a new freedom and a new happiness.

1: Freedom to be real and not superficial.
2: Free from the guilt of the past and the fear of tomorrow.
3: Free to live well, today…bringing hope and gladness, to some unfortunate soul, along life’s way.
4: Free to express my gratitude, in a mature fashion. Free to love and be loved, with no strings attached.
5: Free to pray and to enjoy my relationship with my Higher Power.
6: Free to make positive choices.

Most of all, to die sober, with a smile on my lips. Yes, free to do all of these things, with a stern faith of an innocent child…and yet, simply, the choice to be.. “Free to be me.”

R

I’m Yirmi, an alcoholic.
I had two experiences with denial, and have thought quite a lot about each one. I was raised in a very strict religious environment and it was not acceptable, or so I thought, to have “defects.” So when I started experiencing problems with alcohol in my early 20’s I denied because I thought I had to. I mean, I consciously told myself that I couldn’t have a problem because the pressures in the environment didn’t allow that.

Denial is the first stage of... No it isn't

I moved away from that environment but into others more “normal” and found the same pressures to keep up appearances. I carried that for 10 years until I finally stopped denying to myself, but started the denying to everyone else so that I could keep on drinking.

I am coming to realize that what I thought were two different kinds of denial were really the same thing. I didn’t want, and I don’t want, to be an alcoholic, but I am. So now what? I am honest now with myself and it is the first time ever I am beginning to exert some control on my life by admitting that I don’t have control of my condition or my circumstances.

The First Step was the most powerful spiritual realignment I have ever had, and it knocked denial to the ropes. Once I began admitting to myself and to community what was happening to me, I was embraced with such love. And it was the first time I have received a hug and didn’t think they were hugging my facade.
Denial is a terrible condition I am glad to have let it go.
Thanks for letting me share.
Yirmi