The year is off to a roaring start. I look around the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and I see a lot of changes since I walked in with feelings of deep despair, and feeling there is no hope of ever seeing the sun again.
My world was like a deep, dark cellar with the walls closing in on me. I had no way out, except to follow a suggestion to attend an A & A (as it was called then by some old timers) meeting. So I followed the suggestion and walked through the doors, and the first thing I noticed is that I was once again felt out of place.
I did not think I had a problem with alcohol, and at first I had a problem identifying with those who were sharing. This lasted a total of maybe a minute. The change I heard was a message of hope, and that was good enough for me. The hope that was being talked about was about getting involved in the program doing service, working the steps and getting a sponsor. The part about finding a Higher Power was, at that time, scary and unfamiliar so I let that part slide for a while. I know that I was glad to do what was suggested by these old timers and kept my mouth shut and my ears opened.
What I see today in the rooms is less about hope and more about “ME”!! Sometimes I feel like I am at one of those “seminars” where I am being sold some product that will make my life younger, stronger, healthier, all for the low sum of some outrageous price. For me Alcoholics Anonymous is about doing exactly what the Big Book says to do, in order to stay Mentally, Physically and Emotionally Sober.
I need to hear how others take the action to stay in a fit spiritual condition. I need to hear that sometimes life gets in the way of my recovery, and I tend to get away from the program. I need to hear when that does happen, people get back to working the life saving program that can save an alcoholic like me.
Okay, I am off the soapbox have a great year. Larry G. (CA)
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