When I remember…

by Drummy on January 27, 2012

“Did you ask for God’s help this morning? Why don’t you practice believing this is it?”
– Al R., Oldsmar, FL c. 1993

I love it when I remember this one.
Whatever goes on in my day, if I’ve asked God for help in the morning, why do I doubt that I’m getting it? Why do I fight it?

I’ve been sober a good while now, and God and I have history together. You’d think I’d trust him more.

I hated going to AA at first, but that first day has proved to be the best day of my life — better than any solution I could have dreamed of or wished for in my previously unhappy, unsatisfied, unappreciated life.

Long line of people

Alone in a crowd


Have you ever had something get in the way of what you wanted and later found out it was for the best? Like, for example, my horrid ex-husband leaving me, if you must know. I kicked and screamed at God about that one, but it was the second best day of my life.

These days, I figure when there’s a long line at the grocery store, why not just breathe in and out, then spend the extra couple of minutes to chat with the lady behind me whose grown daughter perhaps didn’t have time to call her this week. When I get stuck working 20 minutes late, and am angry that I’m going to get stuck in rush hour traffic, maybe the crazy driver out on the street will make his turn and I won’t be there to serve as the oncoming car.
Maybe somebody else at work needs what I can do, and my working an extra 20 minutes will help ease her workload for tomorrow. Why don’t I just get out of God’s way and let the world spin without trying to be at the center of it all the time.

So I stop and remember this simple principle — why don’t I try believing that this is the very thing that I asked for: God’s help in my life. Sure makes those petty annoyances seem trivial, inconsequential — and it makes me, when I accept that it’s all in God’s larger plan — well, I’m … dare I say it — almost … serene?

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A nut for…

by Drummy on January 26, 2012

“For every nut in the program, there is a bolt.”

When I first entered the rooms of recovery, I was a little taken back by some of the strange characters I heard share. Some had been to prison, some had lived on the streets, some had been prostitutes, some were ex-gangsters, and some were still pretty crazy.(IMO)
bolt and nut
“These people have nothing in common with me,” I told my sponsor. “How are they going to help me get sober?”
“Some of these people may not be able to help you directly,” he said. “But the fact that they can get this thing and stay sober shows that you can, too.” I saw his point. “Besides that,” he continued, “even if they haven’t had the exact experience you’ve had, there will be someone else who will. No matter what’s going on with you, there will always be somebody who has the experience, strength and hope you need and looking for.

Over the years, I’ve found this to be so true. One of the things I’ve learned to count on, there is always someone who can help me regardless of what I may have been through. This has taught me the value of every person in the program – not just those I identify with.

Now I know that there is a bolt for every nut in the program – even me!
MZ

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Imperfection

January 25, 2012

There would be no music if high C were the only note, no art if spectrum red were the only color, No joy in pleasure if pleasure were the only feeling — and paradoxically, –there would be no perfection without imperfection. What does this mean to me? Well, first it means that I don’t have [...]

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Self-esteem

January 25, 2012

Thinking well of ourselves (Raising self-esteem) Although there may have been conceit and cockiness in our past behavior, most of us suffered from feelings of low self-esteem. We often felt alone and unworthy. Often, we had memories of parents and others who reminded us of our shortcomings or compared us unfavorably with others. Whatever our [...]

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Changes

January 24, 2012

The year is off to a roaring start. I look around the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and I see a lot of changes since I walked in with feelings of deep despair, and feeling there is no hope of ever seeing the sun again. My world was like a deep, dark cellar with the walls [...]

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..month one

January 23, 2012

My name is James and I am an alcoholic. There is a reason people say the first month of sobriety is the hardest — generally speaking, it is. Getting sober in the first month was hard for me, and it was more like hanging on for dear life, and not so much on the recovery. [...]

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